British English vs American English

Interestingly, I was educated in British English (Malaysia being a part of Commonwealth) but spent a large part of my working life in an Anglo-Dutch, a British & few American multinational companies. Being a fast learner & quick to adapt...I have over time seamlessly integrated both English into my daily oral & written communication. Sometimes, I confuse myself which is which. Now that age is catching up, the confusion gets worse! Today, I would like to share some funny anecdotes on how these two common English can puzzle you :

(information sourced from www. effingpot.com except those indicated)

Example :
British English                                                       American English
Bill                                                                            Check
Butty                                                                         Sandwich
Chips                                                                        Fries
Gherkin                                                                     Pickle
take away                                                                 to-go
Neat (drinks)                                                             Straight 
tomato sauce                                                            Ketchup
Amber (traffic lights)                                                  Yellow
Aeroplane (own version)                                             Airplane
Bonnet                                                                       Hood
Boot                                                                           Trunk
Bus Station                                                                Terminal
Car                                                                             Auto
Cul de sac                                                                 Dead end
Fire Engine                                                                Fire truck
Gas                                                                            Petrol
Petrol Station                                                             Gas station
Subway                                                                      Underpass
Saloon (car)                                                               Sedan
Couch                                                                        Sofa
Flat                                                                            Apartment
Lounge                                                                      Living room
Tap                                                                            Faucet
Rubber (own version)                                                Eraser

And now imagine how your conversation will sound if you use the English interchangeably for those I have indicated in green.

1. If you have been sick and has since recovered. The doctor would say "You can be discharged, I am giving you a clean check of health" (?!?) I would surely reply..."so how much are you giving me, doc?" heheheheee....come to think of it....even if the doctor says "a clean bill of health".....I would then say "Does it include GST?" {GST = Malaysian Government Sales & service tax}
2. Scene : in Subway Restaurant ordering your personalized (note : American English uses Z instead of S) butty  (sandwich, duh!). "I want a Parmesan butty with everything on it, minus the Gherkin"...the personnel would be dumbfounded. Try it!
3. In the movies, the drug addicts always tell the police/cops that they are straight meaning they are off taking drugs. Scene from movie....Addict to cop "Hey man, I am neat, man...I laid off those drugs long time ago" and here you are looking at a scumbag in dirty clothes obviously stolen and he says he is neat. OK, taken out of context but I like that I can interchange the meaning of these two words...hehehehehe
4. Commonly heard in Malaysia.."And then ha...the car did not stop at the yellow lights but..."....and they say we were taught British English....oh perhaps, Malaysian don't really know that there are other shades of yellow...hmmmm.... 
5. This one, I find myself laughing out loud even before I can type it. Imagine if I were to use it differently. Doctor to patient " I'm so sorry to tell you Sir/Ma'am that you have a bus station disease!!! " WAKAKAKAKAKAKA>>>>> I know I know...out of context again! But you can't stop my eclectic mind from getting ideas, right??? Bet it made you laugh...Come on...admit it...it was funny, wasn't it? Hah! I thought so too.
6. Excerpt from Wikipedia on Subway Restaurant : Subway is an American restaurant franchise that primarily sells submarine sandwiches (subs) and salads. If not for the word submarine(sub)....the restaurant would end up being called "Underpass Restaurant"...hehehehehe....cheeky me!
7. Oh...oh...this one is another classic! Scenario : A teenager to another teenager on girls talk..."Sally, I wish I could have boobs like yours. Mine is so apartment!"....Ya, ya....I know....out of context AGAIN....but at least I made you laugh!!! HAHAHAHA....But seriously, in Malaysia, low cost high rise housing is called a flat. A medium cost high rise housing without facilities or some facilities is called an apartment while a high rise building with gym, pool and other facilities is called a condominium. But I still find the apartment joke very funny indeed.
8. You visiting a friend in her condominium...."Meet me at the living room"...errrrrr  now....should I wait for her at the lounge (condominium's lounge) or her own living room or vice versa? Who says English is easy? It can be darn confusing!!!
9. Hahaha....imagine those tap dancers are now called Faucet dancers!!! 
10. I would take it that that the word eraser came from the word erase. Hmmm...sounds correct but where did word rubber come from? Is it simply because it was made from rubber? When we were kids, we used to say "May I borrow your rubber" meaning to loan the eraser to erase our mistakes in our workbooks. Extracted from Wikipedia - Eraser is a 1996 American action film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Caan and Vanessa L. Williams. It was directed by Chuck Russell. If it had been named "RUBBER" now, seriously, would you have seen the movie???

Well, I hope you had a good laugh. From now on, be cautious of what you say because it could mean something else to the other person. Wish to write more, unfortunately I need take away! (bet you are scrolling up to find out what take away means...caught you red handed....hmmmm...why not blue or green handed????   

As I said, English is NOT easy. Until the next blog....stay Happy always. Cheeeeeeeeeers!!!