Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Confucius says...(in humour)


Often, I get lots of emails from my friends on health, jokes, interesting pictures, biggest this and that and the what have you, etc. I couldn't help but seriously want to share the following humourous emails on the 'new age' sayings of Confucius.

For the younger generation who are not familiar who Confucius is, here is a brief information on him. He was born in 551BC. He died at the age of 72 in 479BC. He was a Chinese teacher, editor, politician & philosopher of the Spring & Autumn period of Chinese History. Why only Spring and Autumn? Well....how should I know, I wasn't even born then! DUH! And in case you were wondering what nationality he is...Chinese, duh!

Confucius's principles had a basis in common Chinese tradition and belief. He championed strong family loyalty, ancestor worship, respect of elders & of husbands by their wives. And how do I know all these? Check out the link-lah!!! Hehehehe....

And now a bit of sharing from his 'new age philosophical fans'

"A JOKE IS LIKE SEX - NEITHER IS ANY GOOD IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT". I do concur with this as many a times, someone in the group will ask, "what's so funny" (when the group is already laughing hysterically) or "was that a joke?" (awwww...where's your sense of humour, man??!!!). As for sex....well, you go figure that out!



This sounds so much like Yoda! So true for divorce cases...You may be so right, yet so wrong. Or in this case "Win the battle, lose the war"...sometimes, it's good just to keep mum or walk quietly away, right?

"MAN WITH A BROKEN CONDOM IS CALLED A DADDY!!!" Kah kAh Kah kAh!!

 

And I say, beware of the indoor 'snake' more than the outdoor snake. And oh...eat the hotdog outside the camp and not in the tent. Hehehehe....

"A KISS IS JUST SHOPPING UPSTAIRS FOR DOWNSTAIRS MERCHANDISE". Errr...this need no further explanation, right? *bashful look*



Sorry ladies, I think this is more apt for the females.... we almost always jump into conclusions while the guys don't give two hoots about nitty gritty or details.

Errr...seriously...depends on what kind of tools, really.












 "IT'S OK TO LET A FOOL KISS YOU BUT DON'T LET A KISS FOOL YOU" - Well, girls are almost always fooled by a kiss...no???? NO??? OK...guessed I'm much influenced by what I watch on TV, sigh. But...does a fool know how to kiss? Hmmm....



ME...Owww....

So obvious!












" VIAGRA IS LIKE DISNEYLAND. 1 HOUR WAIT FOR A 2 MIN RIDE" - Hehehehe.....



Guys, keep your hands out!!!











 "MAN WHO MIXES VIAGRA AND LAXATIVES DOESN'T KNOW IF HE IS COMING OR GOING" - Ahem....bedroom or bathroom? Bathroom or bedroom??? Errr.....














" ITS MUCH BETTER TO WANT THE MATE YOU DO NOT HAVE THAN TO HAVE THE MATE YOU DO NOT WANT" - Needs no further clarification, now does it?
 



" IT'S BETTER TO LOSE A LOVER THAN TO LOVE A LOSER" - So true, not funny but does serves its objective.
  


* ROTFLOL* 



(Rolling on the floor laughing out loud)



 " MARRIAGE IS LIKE A BANK ACCOUNT. YOU PUT IT IN, YOU TAKE IT OUT & YOU'LL LOSE INTEREST"  - They forgot to mention losing the entire bank account!!! Females can sometimes get even & sometimes evil. Or both...Oh...again, bad influences from watching too much movies & drama...darn!!!


 OK, who's turn to feed the baby????



Thank you to all those creators behind the humourous quotes from 'new age' Confucius. I had a good laugh and hope you had a good one too. 

I end with this quote " Your success and happiness starts with you" and if you can't find at least one funny quote/saying here....I think you had better start looking for your funny bone...it may have gone missing! Or you may have dropped it because you'd laughed too much!!!

Have a fabulous day & a fantastic week ahead. Cheers!!!



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